newbie

well... i don't know why suddenly i got the mood to blog... hmmm... can said so i did want share my diaries story,experiences,life style,gossip???,problem and etc with other guys out there(girl and guy). Sorry if my grammar and english vocabulary not suitable or wrong that make this blog become an eye-saw to all of you. I'm just a newbie that started blog by today... sigh* outdated dy... --"' and i need some of the senior blogger here if you alll don't mind to help me in blogging... i will appreciate it's lots...

• Last Friday 22nd of June 2007
  

i received an unbelievable news about my foster sister's, Veron's death on the night by Chern Ning, thanks dude for telling me. First i'm not sure whether this news fake or real. And i thought it's a joke and if cos i want it for joke la. I can't believe its real. OMG!!! that time my mind was blank. I just cant imagine that this thing will happen. I've been emo for the whole day. Not really much in talking with my housemates including Wei,Boon and Meng. That night, i cant sleep and i listened a kinda lame and old and sad song... (a millionaire's first love ost by Hero) as this song in this movie telling that the main actor lost his love and important person just same like me but the love person for me not same in this movie . I can't even sleep. Every time i close my eyes that night, i thinked of Veron. We had chat at msn there last week before this incident. She such a nice girl. Smart,happy go lucky,cheering,adorable... Why the GOD so cruel. I hate You by taking her from me. You so cruel!! She still have lots bright future, and now u did this to her...

Sad and sad came accompany me.. I still can't recover after know this news.. I can't concerntrate in my lecturer and tutorial on the next day.. It's been already passed 5 days.. sorry for not going to your memorial.. anyways i'm going back Kuantan this Thursday night.. if the memorial still available, anyone do inform me k? Cos i not really understand with Christian custom very well. VTML, may God will be with you.. rest in peace.. i won't forget you in my whole life.. I will keep the memory with me.. I miss you so much.. ~.~

• My Stupidnesssss

Everyone have the past.. And the past won't come back to you... That's why it called past.. some of them, they have meaningful past,happy past,excited past,sad past,and more. I don't know whether my past how it look like for me and who knows she didn't think like that?

Sigh* i've been to kl for study bout 5 weeks, everthing going well. Just one thing that really make me suffer. I don't know it is suffering or stupid-ing, or harming my self to the death. I wish can die right now. At least i can solve this problem. Many ppl do said, life can be change easily when you at kl for about a long period. Does my 5 weeks means long period?? I really wanted to forget her. Forget the past with her. Forget the moment with her. Forget everything bout her!!! I can do it. I keep encouraging myself that i can do it. But it's a failure. On the same time, i still hate her. I start hating her since i know she selfish. (Hui Ying, you want know why i hate you so much, start reading this from here)

Everyone sure have their demands and wishes, lets start with me, my demands to have a nice and enjoyable life. Sounds simple but sbout my personality to achieve my demands it's surely have lower percentage to successful. I admitted my personality problems such as hot tempered, bad mood everytime, bad mouth, bad attitude and lots. Thanks for have the *stand* with me for 8 months. I appreciate it so much. In my whole life i never thought that i will be so happiness as there a girl willing to do so to me. Sorry, i didn't mean anything by telling it out k, Hui Ying.. Just to let you know cos you asked me that day. You also promised with me will be together with me. Forever and everlasting. I do believe your words. Cos i trust you. Your words means everything to me. But one day you changed completely(can said so), stage by stage change and step by step.. I asked you why to get the answer why you behaving like this and you answer me don't know. It's can't support my curiousness to know it. And you let me get disappointed. It's not the reason that i hate you. I hate you cos you made the fake promise with me. You know what you promised la no need ask me to tell you again. And one more thing, for a thing, you rather let me go. Don't you think you are selfish? Is it items and valuable more important for me? Maybe you din thought before this matter. I did. As you know, i like to think stupid stuff.

Till now, after 2 months break up, i can't forget you. You tell me, how only can forget you. Teach me the ways. I really wanted. It's so suffering!! I don't want suffer anymore. Sometimes you suddenly appear in my mind when i was sleeping,napping,thinking others thing, and my daily routine(sometimes only,not everytime) Now i hate you, i'm not last time Hooi Woei Hoong already.I hate you so much. I will hate you for the rest of my life. If i know you would like this i wont ask you for couple last time. I hate you. You make me pissed off. You fooled me. You played my feeling. You cheated me. I hate you more than i hate the "red kancil". The fire from my heart wont disappear. I will hate you so much more than how much i love you last time and its triple more hate than i hate anyone. So far, i hate you the most. I BENCI you so much!!! I'm totally changed. I live in two worlds. One is human world and one more is hell. -outz-

Do anyone agree death is the easiest way to solve problems?

sorry for my boring story@problem